WANDERINGS of a wayward heart, PONDERINGS of a well found Soul
by
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Walking The Rim
Tottering along the edge.
Arms spread wide to steady
as one step is placed upon another.
Sometimes eyes wide-then closed,
then at others, intently watching
so as not to falter.
Around and around we travel.
Encircling world upon worlds of dreams,
and heaps upon heaps of ashen promise
ready to be scattered with the wind.
Should we stop, or
venture onward to destinations yet ahead?
Have we lost our way?
Time worn grooves rut life’s pathways too often.
We remain on the rambling sphere where
comfort means traveling the sure footed route.
The kind that becomes all the same.
The one where blindfolds are easily worn and
one will always end up back at the start.
Because the grooves never change.
I take a breath.
I step outside.
Peer over the precipice
and let the blindfold fall.
And finally stop
to take it all in.
This all encompassing
new view of life…
Walking the rim.
The Dancer
She sat silently
Watching the other children play.
Hoping that she’d jump up and run
To play with them one day.
And summer’s came and then they went,
And seasons were here and gone.
Her youthful longings kept their pace
As those children grew up and moved on.
Then as a young teenager balancing books
With crutches in tow…
She still dreamt her dreams and endured the taunts
That hurt her spirit so.
She was a pretty thing. And had a ready smile…
That betrayed the lonely saddened heart,
Which held no grudge nor guile.
She’d close her eyes and feel her feet
Gliding gracefully across the floor.
Her auburn hair and bright blue eyes
Filled with love and hope and more.
As the day approached…the big dance came,
She dressed her Sunday best.
A most beautiful little wounded bird
Not quite fitting in with the rest.
Oh how she longed for strong arms
To wrap her tiny frame.
And sweep her up,
Let her feel loved, and ‘normal’
For a change.
She lived her life of solitude
Never abandoning that dream.
For in her heart of hearts she knew,
Her prince would come one day-
To fulfill all that she had seen.
And as upon her bed she lay,
Awaiting to draw her final breath,
They all thought it rather odd-to hear her laugh
In the face of death.
For she was once more sitting in
That lovely gown of lace.
As He gently took her fragile hand
And lifted her in place.
He looked at her with loving eyes
So deep and very true.
She smiled and took His hand and said,
“I’ve waited my life-long for You”.
Her Prince had come to rescue her.
Said she was the prettiest and fairest of all.
As they danced across the floor with grace
At the angel’s Starlight Ball.
She looked upon her Savior’s face,
And finally felt so free.
As she swirled and swayed and realized…
The greatest Prince in all the world,
From everyone…chose me.
When we realize the unique significance of every human spirit…No soul can be entrapped, no heart considered hopeless, no limitations upon one’s life imposed. And a word such as “handicap” ceases to have meaning, and fails to exist in the hearts of men.
~Linda Carlson
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About the Book
This book is born from the complexities of life. Unorthodox poetry, brief anecdotes and life observations, quotes, written in a form that is this author's own unique style. Each portraying the roads traveled through the many hardships, as well as joys encountered, in one simple and ordinary life. After having been dealt a blow from the diagnosis of chronic auto-immune illness after only ten years into her marriage, Linda recounts the simple things of life that can be considered blessings. And reveals the ongoing struggle with depression, pain, and illness, that have spanned over thirty years of trying to live normally despite them.
Being alone in life at age fifteen was preparation for the physical battles that lay ahead. The feelings of isolation, loneliness and of 'being out of place' most all of her life, helped build the mental stamina to endure the illnesses that were to come later on. Through it all, she's kept the optimistic view that life still mattered. These compiled works, some from the time she was very young, through today, encompass the multitude of emotions experienced in a sometimes difficult life, and will hopefully serve as an encouragement to others who struggle.
About the Author
Linda Carlson is a native of Boone, Iowa. Married forty-one years, and the mother of two grown sons. She has written most all of her sixty years and finally decided to place just a few of her works in book form, primarily as a legacy to her children. She has experienced significant losses in life. From her mother’s death and her father’s subsequent abandonment as a young girl, to the loss of a ‘normal’ life due to serious autoimmune illnesses suffered for well over thirty years. Through these and other life experiences she has managed to cope, and to learn and grow. And to thrive, to fail, to fall, and to continue living on anyway.
She hopes that a few of the experiences shared from her poetry and life observations, through the best and worst of times, will be a ‘touch point’ for others who have struggled through tough times of their own. Which may then enable them to come away still able to love and live a full life despite the hardships they endure.
She lives with her retired husband and their son in a small bedroom community not far from where she was born. And her plans include spending ‘The Golden Years’ enjoying reacquainting with old friends and feeding the birds and squirrels that wander into the yard. And of course, writing. She maintains a website for other writers to showcase their work, also an interactive writing community and a support community for those with Myalgic encephalitis (ME) a.k.a. Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction (CIFDS), Fibromyalgia (FMS), Chronic Myofascial Pain Disorder (CMPD), Addison’s Disease, and other Related Chronic Illness and Pain and Autoimmune Disorders.
Living with chronic pain, illness, and or depression does not have to steal away the goodness of life. You will recognize a few of the dark days written within these pages, but you may also see the lovely and good things that remain from learning to live past them as well. It is Linda’s greatest hope that you may find a little unexpected blessing as you read her life in poetry.