Pine-Wave Energy

We all come across conflicts in our lives. Pine-Wave Energy: A Guide to Conflict Resolution provides a simplistic yet realistic guide to understanding and resolving conflict in normal day-to-day life, with both ourselves and others.

It is a tool to understanding perception within conflict, how emotions become the catalyst for conflict, communication styles, and personality types. It shares effective techniques regarding verbal and nonverbal communication. This is inclusive of the systematically developed QSC strategy for effective verbal communication that can be used in both personal and professional environments.

We take a logical approach that provides a proactive guide aimed at resolving conflict prior to physical engagement, whenever possible.

The goal of this book is for you to gain a greater understanding of conflict resolution, an understanding that we all see things differently, but if we work toward a common goal, then a resolution can be achieved. Most of the contents of this book are aimed at providing you with the knowledge and confidence to look at conflict resolution as something that is obtainable in the best interests of all parties.

Conflict is a result of an emotional response toward a specific subject. One quote I always use while teaching is “There is no truth, only the perception of truth.” It is our perception of what is truth in our own mind that dictates our emotional response. In conflict these emotional responses are what initiates frustration, anger and other heightened emotional states.

It is also these heightened emotions in conjunction with the personality type that dictate the nature of the conflict. Someone with a calm approach to conflict will be able to tolerate more, show less emotion, and control their choice of words. However, just because this type of personality is calm on the outside doesn’t always reflect what is going on in their mind. The difference is their level of self-control.

After looking into the emotional aspect of conflict, we then look at grasping the concept of perception. This is a fun exercise in understanding the simple concept that we all see things differently.

The important thing to remember is that everyone has needs and desires. In order to resolve, we need to get the involved parties to become motivated toward the resolution process. Once those within the conflict have a belief that they will accomplish something that is important to them, they become more open to finding that resolution.

Understanding the psychology of conflict is also extremely important. In the art of Shoto-Chi we teach by five guiding principal philosophies. They were written in a particular sequence and can take many years to master. Like most things, it is a choice to begin and continue the process. Here we cover the five principal philosophies that are taught within Shoto-Chi.

The first and most difficult to master is Remember to keep calm and in control of your emotions. Conflict is a result of heightened emotions. For the most part when one person is in a heightened emotional state, those emotions affect the others within the conflict; hence conflicts continue.

Calmness is paramount and one of the most usable skills in almost all aspects of life. It doesn’t matter if you are entering conflict or climbing a mountain. Calmness helps us to focus. It allows us to digest information and objectively make a decision. When in conflict with another, calmness provides us structure. It provides us the key skill to attempt to resolve. It allows us to think and to evaluate the conflict, the environment, and the potential impact our actions will have on the conflict.

When teaching the art of conflict resolution and especially the verbal aspect, we break it down into 3 stages. The first of which is “Question.” Why? In order to start the process of resolving conflict, we need to establish the reason behind it. By asking the right questions in the right way, we can start to effectively communicate a resolution. In stating this, it means that the conflict has not started with physical engagement. As you will find out later as we progress into this chapter on verbal communication, there are different stages. Based upon the assessed level of threat, we may need to start at a more assertive stage and circle back. I’ll explain more about this as we move forward.

Most of us know that the largest percentage of our communication with others is nonverbal. Body language is nonverbal communication by means of subconscious gestures, movements, and physical attitudes.

It is the signals that are given out to others in the way we act and respond. Be that when we walk down the street or interact with someone. Our emotions play a huge part in our nonverbal communication, and depending upon our personalities, some will emit more signals than others. Think about the emotional states of depression versus anger. Depression will display much smaller movements than anger.

The third philosophy in conflict resolution within Shoto-Chi is “Read and understand one’s body language.” This philosophy covers both them and us. Understanding the signals that we and others emit within conflict changes the very dynamic of conflict. It’s not that great to just be able to read others if you have no comprehension of how your own body language is interacting with them.

This book also delves into the controlling of personal space should there be a perceived or actual physical threat. This is detailed through the dynamic technique known as the fence. The fence is a technique that uses NLP (neurolinguistic programming).

In order to resolve the conflict in the best interest of all involved we must learn how to effectively negotiate. Words can be your most powerful tool or your worst weapon so remember positive input produces positive output.