Love on Separate Grounds

She had just finished her National Youth Service program in Abuja, where she had served as a teacher in Bright Mind Montessory Private School. Through the help and influence of her cousin; Olufayosimilokan Tolulope; often referred to as Fay, she was able to secure a visiting permit for six months. The twenty six years old Fay had come to Nigeria to get married to her thirty years old husband, Gbekeloluwa Olufeyinsimi and Ewaoluwa had been one of the bridesmaids. Having heard of her cousin’s outstanding academic achievements and management skills, Fay had invited her over. The sky was the limit for Ewaoluwa Tolulope, so the stage was set to receive her cast. On arrival in UK, Ewaoluwa lived with Fay and her husband in Sutton. She met and befriended few friends of the newly wedded couple and related well with them. She also attended quite a number of social functions. While the couple was out at work, she made herself useful by helping with domestic chores around the house. She also volunteered in various roles within their local church. By her second month in UK, she met and fell in love with a thirty years old Indian man, Singh Ghandi who was a friend to Gbekeloluwa. Singh also worked with him in his internet café and sold computer parts and products. Fay had been confident that Ewaoluwa’s skills would be beneficial to them in her husband’s computer training program at the internet café so after her arrival, she had invited Singh over to meet her. On visiting the couple, he sounded so friendly and chatty that he captured the twenty five years old Ewaoluwa’s attention. He came across to her like an ideal man with his good looks and well groomed body features. They kept exchanging looks and smiles as he chatted away. At the end of his visit, he took her number and invited her for lunch the next day and she accepted. Singh had openly declared himself as a single and available man searching for a life partner and Ewaoluwa felt it was an open invitation that was too good to miss. She fantasized about having a relationship with him throughout the night and it felt like she had just put on a sandal that was crafted in love, tailor made for her and which guaranteed a victorious walk into the garden of romance and freedom in the UK. She smiled as she slept off. The next morning, she woke up still flirting with the idea of having a relationship with Singh. She had admired his transparent and confrontational approach to relationship and was clear about what he wanted. She hoped to find protection, comfort and marital covering. She had seen Fay’s lifestyle and had coveted it from the first day she stepped into her home. Prior to that, she had been in regular touch with her cousin, who had told her so much about life in the UK. It was only natural for Ewaoluwa to desire living in the UK and she felt that Singh might be the one to fulfil the dream. On their first date, she made him aware that she didn’t believe in sex before marriage and he acknowledged her concerns and took her to the Bluebells pub Hackbridge. As they sat and drank some majaritas in the bar, Singh handed her a small bouquet of dianthus pink lases already set in a decorative Indian bowl and she thanked him. She was tall, pretty and had dark skin. She had well cut out manicured fingernails and toenails and wore a smart hair do. She wore a neat top and a smart pair of jeans and her pair of sandals was very nice. She had good etiquette too. Saturday, 1st June 2002. Firstly, Singh asked about her family and she smiled and said they were all well. He smiled back and told Ewaoluwa about his relationship with his family and friends and how much they had influenced him. He was born in India, but his parents; Ajay and Sadguna were posted to Birmingham when he was about five years old. Ajay was a retired vetenary doctor while Sadguna was a home maker. It was said that when their home collapsed in India during a natural disaster, Ajay’s entire family was killed in their hut, only baby Ajay escaped. He was found under a pile of rubbles after two days and his extended family named him Ajay, meaning the one who is invincible. He had been invincible to the powers of death. Ewaoluwa smiled and nodded in admiration but kept quiet. Singh continued his story. His mother, Sadguna on the other hand came from a humble and wealthy family, where the ladies were thought to be very homely and submissive to their husbands. Her parents said that they wanted to call their children by the character they wanted to see in them so they named her Sadguna meaning good virtues. She later married Ajay and had four boys, Singh was the first. At infancy, the doctors in India thought he wouldn’t survive childhood because he was born at seven months, with a number of complications. He beat the odds in the incubator and his father named him Singh meaning lion or a fighter. Ajay and Sadguna had three other boys when they came to England and their joy of being in the western world inspired them to name their sons after light. They claimed they got the opportunity to be more enlightened in UK. Back in India, they had lived in the remote town of Spiti Valley. The town of Birmingham was the exact opposite; it was bustling with activities. Singh’s brothers were named Aditya (sun or beginning), Arush (first rays of the sun) and Reyansh (a ray of light). Aditya was a vet just like his father in Manchester, Arush was a project manager in Blackburn and Reyansh was a builder in Birmingham. Although Ajay and his wife were delighted to be in Birmingham, they missed the breath taking views of Spiti and always spoke about the place while the boys were growing up. They were now retired and were contemplating relocating back to Spiti. Ewaoluwa was so amazed at the family’s apparent success and Singh’s level of openness endeared him further to her. She made up her mind to hold onto Singh, as she was sure to find the love and comfort she so desperately crave for in marriage. With Singh, she was guaranteed a covering that would enable her reach her maximum potential in UK. He was the perfect walking aid she needed to get to where she wanted. In response, she thanked him for his story and told him how much she admired his family from the little that he had told her. She then went on to shed light on her family. Ewaoluwa told him that she took so much pride in her family too. Her mother, Temiloluwa (mine is God’s) had been friends with her father, Temidire Tolulope for almost twenty years. Temidire (meaning ‘mine turned out well’) had dated Temiloluwa for two years initially, and when they discovered that their blood genotype was AS, they decided not to get married but remain friends. They had first hand experiences of sickle cell cases in their immediate families and didn’t want to go through it themselves by having children with sickle cell. Both decided to remain friends, encouraging each other but dating other partners. They dated several partners but there was no marriage. Eventually after being friends for almost twenty years, in their mid forties, they decided to get married and be life companions. The Forty five years old Temiloluwa soon took in after marriage and had a beautiful baby girl with blood genotype AA. The Tolulope couple were so thrilled that they gave their baby girl the name ‘Ewaoluwa’, meaning the beauty of God.